Ok, granted. Getting your attire right at a festival is difficult in England. It’ll only ever be hot enough to fry an egg on your face or cold and wet enough that you understand exactly how your goldfish feels. But surely, surely everyone can see the perils and prepare for them. Right?

Wrong. At Reading Festival this year, we came across definite fashion do’s and don’ts aplenty. And a picture can speak a thousand words… so here they are.


The Onesie.

Warm, cosy, zip-up and a cunning animal disguise. Onesies were the biggest thing on the campsite this year – we feel like we missed a trick!

Be a Smurf.

If you want to go one beyond the onesie, gather your friends, blue-up and start singing. With the High Tea Cast as your witness, it doesn’t fail to turn a single head wherever you go!

Awesome Wellies.

Wellies are awesome, wellies are comfy (unless you’re Sam Sparrow) and, most importantly, wellies are WATERPROOF. They’ll save you from floods, sticky mud and yorkshire puddings that have been casually discarded around the campsite. Why would you not own a pair – and own a pair in the funkiest colours you can find!


Be Hilarious.

This had us lolling all over the field for some time!




Mud Wrestling.

This? Not clever. At this years Reading there were even boys stripping right until until there was nothing to cover their dignity, then launching themselves into a mud puddle. Apart from the obvious flaws in that plan, forgive us for being crude but imagine trying to brush that lot out of your pubes. Ouch.

And on the topic of footwear, we saw this at Reading. What exactly will these do for you in a sea of mud?!

 Nothing. That’s what.



Too-Short Shorts.

Shorts in general are absolutely perfect – a festival goers best friend. Team shorts with tights or leggings if it’s cold, rock an awesome T-shirt with them or bare the ol’ legs if the sun comes out in force. But we don’t want to see your breakfast when you bend over, and no – they don’t magically start to cover up your arse cheeks while you struggle to put up your tent.


Too Much Makeup.

Many of us are guilty of getting a little worried about venturing outside the house with no makeup, but festivals are different. If you don’t sweat it off the rain will melt it, and no one wants to get with anyone following a colour scheme akin to that of Shamu. Or that of a tiger if you’re hailing from Essex. We have little patience for fake eyelashes and glittery makeup too… Please, just get out of your tent, start drinking and stop caring. Because Reading fest is definitely the place to do it!

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