Sometimes I look at loved-up couples and think, “Where am I going wrong?”, “Why am I still single?” and more often than not… “How are THEY taken while I’m stuck on the sofa eating my way through the entire Tesco collection of ice cream?”
Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with being single, in fact I’m a pro at it.
To put you in the picture, my love life can be seen as a bit of an unlucky joke, which I do laugh at believe it or not. I’ve dated stoners, alcoholics, guys with girlfriends (I didn’t know at the time I swear!), work colleagues, friends, friends of friends, even tried online dating for a week or two…but I never seem to be able to change my Facebook status to “In a relationship”.
But after a Twitter chat with The High Tea Cast’s very own Sam Sparrow, a few things dawned on me that made me realise there are valid reasons why no man has swept me off my feet yet. And so the hashtag #reasonimsingle was born. Enjoy!
#reasonimsingle 1 – I like One Direction
This is the reason that the initial hashtag was born, so it’s only right it gets a mention. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like One Direction in the way Caroline Flack and hundreds of under-age screaming girls like them, I like them in a much worse way…I actually enjoy their music. I initially couldn’t stand them on X Factor, and was heavily insulted when any of my friends hinted that I probably liked them due to my awful music taste (more on that later). But when “What Makes You Beautiful” came out, there was something about the initial few beats and the catchy lyrics that made me secretly enjoy it.
But like every single one of my secrets, it wasn’t long before I was telling my friends of my new One Direction appreciation. It’s harmless I thought, it’s only one song I thought….then I found myself asking for their album for Christmas…and enjoying it…and what’s worse is I still do. There have since been countless times where I’ve blasted it a little too loud on my iPod and heard giggles in the background from those that over-hear it….I am 24 after all, not 12. Funnily enough I doubt any man would find that sexy….unless he was deaf.
#reasonimsingle 2 – I’m a geek that refuses to hide it
Geek-chic has recently come into fashion, and suddenly the phrase “guys that don’t make passes at girls that wear glasses” has become a complete lie. The image of the geek may be the height of fashion, but the personality hasn’t quite caught on. While I do have the big block glasses and short spiky hair of the generic geek, my geeky personality is out of control. Unable to hide it from anyone, (whether they’re attractive or not), my love of Doctor Who, Spaced and all other things geek may have got me some terrific friends…but as yet, no boyfriend….because I’m what they call…geek mental.
Mention Simon Pegg and I giggle like a school girl, briefly discuss Doctor Who and you won’t hear anything else get mentioned …and say you “sort of like” Spaced and I’ll tell you boring fact after boring fact about the camera angles, actors and general geeky stuff…whether you’re a geek or not, you’ll hear it…something the HTC ladies will testify to. Every guy I’ve ever fancied has had a discussion about Spaced with me within the first hour of meeting me. ..The worst being in a nightclub where I screamed the word SIMON PEGG at him before realising he couldn’t speak English.
#reasonimsingle 3 – I like musicals and really, really bad pop music
This doesn’t even need explaining really…I like musicals, I like to sing musical numbers in the hope that someday someone will tell me I can sing (I’m more in the tone-deaf category), and no man will ever match me in my love of musicals…and if they do they tend to fancy the same men that I do.
But as well as singing “Defying Gravity” like I’m in the cast of Wicked, my Spotify playlist is host to a whole lot of 90s pop. It currently includes Danni Minogue, Lolly, Westlife, Disney movies, Blazin Squad and even a bit of Busted…ok a lot of Busted..and Mcfly…who I have seen on every tour they’ve ever embarked on.
My love of bad pop is so awful that I’ve had to pay for Spotify just because I played Jedward too much, using up all my allowed plays in a single day…I wish I was joking.
What’s worse is I’ve recently found myself listening to mostly X Factor contestants…eurgh I feel dirty just saying it. I love Olly Murs (own both his albums and even bought a trilby hat), Matt Cardle , JLS (again, own all their albums), One Direction, Diana Vickers…and even a bit of Alexandra Burke.
What man in their right mind would find such dreadful taste in music appealing???
DISCLAIMER: When the idea for this feature was first suggested to me, I loved it, but in typical fashion it now needs a few adjustments.
Shortly after this #reasonimsingle hashtag was created, I attended a dancing social event and met someone…a lovely someone…and have since gone on a lot of dates with him. He knows all about these terrible traits of mine, I told him on our first meeting and he didn’t run which was shocking.
However, he was unaware of the One Direction obsession..until now….so Harry Styles could be responsible for another break up.
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