Men love a lady in red. That’s true perhaps. I have a bright red dress that my boyfriend likes to remove much more than he likes to look at. Red symbolises passion and lust and love. Back in school, and again at university I studied medical history; touching on the four humours. I wrote about blood as a hot, sticky part of the body, red in colour and at the origin of phrases like “hot headed”. A symbol of anger and passion. It’s kind of a beautiful thing really how we link the colour of our heart and vital organs with feelings of lust and attraction. Look at roses – white roses symbolise everlasting love, whereas it is red that represents lust and passion. Red means power, sensuality and valance.

However, scientists believed until very recently that red was attractive because it matched a woman’s “blushing” genitalia. Hold the freaking phone. Now, I can’t speak for everyone when I say this but, my vagina doesn’t blush. It bloody screams from the rooftops if there’s something it wants. In no way, shape or form does my screaming vagina have anything to do with my ability to attract a man. In fact, nor does the colour red!

Daily Mail Article

Researchers at the University of Kent conducted a study which found that men are, in fact, not attracted to the colour for its comparison to female genitalia. And The Daily Mail decided to write an article about it. Because what we all need to know as women of the world was this. Notwithstanding the fact that the idea dates back to prehistoric times when the red inflamed bottom of a female baboon would show fertility and is therefore probably entirely relevant, I’m sort of thinking The Daily Mail should be tackling feminism or some shit. Oh no, wait…

That aside, luckily for all us women out there the University of Kent released the results of their study  in the journal PloS ONE, and this categorically disproves the “Theory of the Blushing Vag” as I have come to call it. It basically involved taking 16 pictures of female genitalia, varying in colour and seeing if 40 heterosexual men preferred the red ones. They didn’t, it reminded them too much of periods apparently. Or ya know, the Clap. I’m glad they’re spending their research grants wisely. Next stop, cancer cure!

Yes, red is an attractive colour. Rightly so, The Daily Fail posted a picture of Jessica Rabbit – the cartoon we all want to bang or be – to prove a point. Red is hot. But I’m here to say, they didn’t need to perform research or studies to prove that red had no link to blushing of a vagina. I would have told them that for free.

To me, it appears that the Mail will do anything to make science seem a little bit saucy and I just can’t take any paper who publishes the word “chavtastic” seriously. I’m afraid that by focusing on what men want to see, they are forever proving themselves as masochistic and archaic. They’ve forgotten the most important message of all – women should dress for themselves.

Scary part is? It was written by a woman. I don’t know any other woman that would consider this newsworthy…

 

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