NOTE: Not a work safe mini cast!
I’ve wanted to check out the online dating scene for a while to be able to write an article about it. Not to find sex or a relationship or anything in that vein, but to experience how it works and see what the people who partake in online dating are really like.
I’ve always had major reservations about signing up to any one of these sites though, initiated purely by the fact that I find the dating world an absolute bloody mystery as it is. People do, say and think odd things. There are no guidelines. Nonsensical things happen and I don’t know whether I’m coming or going, and all too often it’s sadly masked by a smokescreen of dishonesty that never really needed to happen. Add into that the fact that you come into contact with someone’s online portrayal of themselves and well… let’s just say I’m dubious. Dating, love and sex – for me anyway – is better suited to real life initiations.
It’s the internet itself that helped me make that decision. Porn websites do not feature many women who look all that thrilled at what should be a pleasurable situation for them. I wrote recently about Twitter porn and how shockingly degrading it is. Then I found The Very Dirty Blog and decided I would stay the hell away from the scene entirely.
Selina uses The Very Dirty Blog to expose negative sexual advances that she receives online through both dating sites and everyday social media. Controversial? Certainly. But at the same time I’m glad that someone had the guts to do it, because in an ironic step backwards for female sexual freedom, so many men seem to think that because they’re trying to get a bit through a profile instead of in person, the female they’ve targeted is less of a person too. Men getting their kicks online, it appears, suddenly revert back to that age old idea that women are objects and baby machines.
Now I have no qualms with anyone looking for a little frisky business in the online arena, but let me explain something right now: There is a person behind this keyboard. A woman who has sexual choice, a body that is mine and mine alone, and just because you aren’t looking directly into my actual eyes does not mean I don’t deserve respect. All too often a man who never had the guts to approach me in person with a proposition has resorted to a rude and crude tweet to win my attention, and there are few things that make me more angry.
I interviewed Selina about the reactions to her brave blog. You may or may not agree with exposing these borderline internet sex pests, but one thing’s for sure: dating and hook up sites are doing nothing to encourage better treatment of women. Who’d have thought the internet could set modern ideals back so far?
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