In 1997, I was 8 years old. I was quite young. But I’d bet my last chocolate biscuit I’m not the only one who remembers the song Barbie Girl being unleashed upon the world, or the vaguely psychotic looking quartet that sung it; Aqua.

Aqua Aquarium

Upon closer inspection at the ripe old age of 22, I can’t believe that even as a nipper I managed to completely overlook the fact that the lead singer (Lene) has murder eyes. Or that Rene has enormous blue eyebrows, whilst Soren looks like Lord Voldemort as a blonde toddler, and the remaining dude Claus, on the left, looks like he’s just wandered into the album shot to photo bomb it.

I may now identify this odd group as the type of people who spend their evenings in Tesco smiling at the cheese counter, yet I’ve caught myself idly wondering what happened to these crazy 90s popsters.

Allegedly, Aqua split because Lena, who had started the group when she was dating Rene, had moved onto Soren, and so tensions in the group rose and they went their separate ways. Happens a lot when you mix business with pleasure, or so I’m told.

As Lena and Soren ended up getting hitched between her releasing a flop of an R’n’B solo album Play With Me, and his dabbling in music production before achieving moderate success with The Lazyboy Project, the world of life-size dolls and nonsensical poppy trance tracks seems to be a setting where some can find love. It’s not my bag I don’t think, but whatever turns them on.

Lena reportedly now has a lovely new set of enhanced breasticles, which she conveniently splashed across the cover of FHM when her album failed. Ironic then, that the success of her band had rested on the shoulders of a song about a plastic lady.

Aqua Barbie Girl music video

Claus has hidden himself away a bit since Aqua, though stuck to the music biz mixing under the alias Danny Red.

But my favourite – my ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE – post-Aqua story is that of Rene’s. I mean, sure, he did alright for himself with his solo album and single Way To Go on…er…MySpace, and he seemed to put aside all hard feelings about Soren and Lene’s relationship enough for Aqua to do a reunion tour in 2009, where they performed at Heaven in Soho (had I known about this, I would have been there dancing my Barbie Girl arse off). But I think where Rene really hit the height of fame was when he starred as Mr Breakfast on

I don’t think a single one of you have it in you not to click that link.

So there we are. If you ever caught yourself wondering what on earth became of the Danish quartet that bestowed Barbie Girl upon every adults bleeding lugholes, wonder no more. Now enjoy that song they released that wasn’t Barbie Girl…

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