Ever watched a film and wondered if there is a dark side? Thought that your humble children’s movies were just that – hearts and flowers? In reality, many films actually have rather a sinister plot to them. But for reasons that I can’t fathom, because there is a cute animal/love story/manly hero of some kind, people seem to just accept it as okay.

It isn’t ok. And I’ll be breaking these down week by week. Beware. This is about to get dark…

Movie Clapperboard

The story about the cute alien.

Or what really happened…

 The story of how a kid gets causally abandoned by his parents yet seems to be okay with it.

Everyone loves E.T. Makes you tear up, launched Drew Barrymore’s child star status, has the iconic bike scene. Spawned those BT adverts. But no. Flagrant disregard for childcare is not okay, no matter how much you dress it up with a cute alien.

So accidentally-on-purpose leaving your human child in a supermarket on a Saturday for example, for a few minutes… Frowned upon, yes? Look what happened to David Cameron. Leaving your alien child on another planet? For a week? Surely this can’t be considered a good thing. Also a toddler – not even a teenager.

More to the point; you would notice, surely, before you leave a planet. Have we weed? Check. Enough petrol to make it to the next space station? Check. Have we all remembered our bags? Because I’m not turning around once we hit Mars, ya’know. Check.

Okay… Anything else? Anything? Oh yeah. Where’s the bloody alien kid?

I think such total disregard for child welfare should reported to like the inter-galactic child services or something. Or the Jupiter federate of mothers. Fathers of Neptune for justice. They’d get their superhero costumes on and climb a building over it.

If you think you have spotted the secret plot to any movies, leave a comment!

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