At times of stress, sometimes all you want to do is hide under the bed with a box of Krispy Kremes and a bottle of gin. And maybe Alanis Morrisette’s back catalogue (just me? Well ok then…). It is so so easy to find yourself wallowing when things go wrong, or when you get bad news – and inevitably the self-loathing can sometimes follow on quite quickly.
I’ve recently found myself in that same spot, getting upset and stressed over thing that I can’t control, and ultimately blaming myself and trash talking myself to the point where I was essentially my own school bully.
But I then realised that actually none of this was on me. And when situations and other people project their bad karma on me – I’ve got to have a plan. I’ve got to be the best version of myself that I can possibly be. And this, my friends is how I do just that.
Accept your limitations
We are always always always told we can be anything we want to be – you just have to work really hard. Whilst I love the sentiment, and believe whole-heartedly in the power of positive thinking, I am never going to be a mathmetician or an artist. Or a million other things. I mean I don’t want to be a mathmetician, but you know – I quite fancy the artistic life. I’m just really shit at drawing and adding up. But I’m ok with that. And I’m ok that I can’t always be the best at everything too.
If your thought process means that you have to be the best at everything, ever then I am afraid you might wind up feeling like a failure. And that isn’t right either. I’m not talking about scaling back ambition, but I am talking about a healthy dose of realism to help your mental health. Whether through time, talent, means or a million other things, sometimes things just don’t go right – and you need to be fine with that before you can be a brilliant version of yourself. Accepting your limitations, is the first step to really achieving something grand – because you can absolutely concentrate on what makes the best you.
I’m never going to win any housewife prizes because I am lazy and also messy. So instead of stressing about the chaos in my home, I’ve embraced it, accepted it and spent my energy thinking about how I can master the lyrics to Super Bass. Because I’m excellent at karaoke.
Do we ever take the time to really and truly love our whole selves, warts and all? I swear too much, I’m a horrific drunk, I cry at DIY SOS and I avoid doing things I don’t want to do until the situation falls down on me. I truly hate all those things about me (and that chunky ass, but ya know, J-Lo works it) but I know that this is who I am. I am also a loving wife, a patient and caring friend, I love cuddling kittens, I’m generous with my time and money and I like to share funny things on the internet with people.
In spite of faults that I may perceive, people love me just the way I am. So why sholdn’t I embrace the love too? I can’t truly bring version brilliant to the table if I’m trash talking on my faults behind the scenes, right? If I’m so busy thinking about the things I don’t like, I’ll never get to things that are awesome about me. So take some time out to get to know you you really are. And then love it. Love every freaking bit of it (even the wonky little toe) and use that love to be the best you can be.
Look after yourself
If you aren’t looking after your mind and your body, you’ll be dog tired, frazzled and unable to produce your best self on a daily basis. We all do it – burn out. We fill our bodies and minds with so much crap and then wonder why we feel like we are only 50% there a lot of the time. But you need to be bringing all 100%. Because you are awesome, no?
For me, exercising regularly, eating a good diet (with little treats thrown in), spending time with friends and family away from a glaring screen, laughing alot, knitting, singing inappropriately to songs on car journeys and sharing a lazy Sunday breakfast with Mr S all lift my soul. So I do it often. And when I’ve spent a weekend doing all that, I am totally prepared to be SUPER SAM on a Monday morning.
Sometimes we get so caught up in the day to day strains of life that we forget we are here for living – wouldn’t you rather cut the crap and get on with it, being the best version of you that you can be?
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