A.K.A. Stop directors from crapping on their best work.

It has to be said. There are few awesome original ideas in Hollywood these days. Inception was one of the last great original ideas for a Hollywood film. As in, a film idea that had not been taken from books, comics, re-makes of older films, prequels, sequels… just a never ending stream of a lack of originality.

An even more tragic consequence if this lack of originality are directors (usually seasoned awesome directors) going back and ruining the mythology of already – in some cases – cult classic films. They sometimes even have the audacity to alter the original footage

George Lucas, I am looking at you.

It’s a Love/ Hate relationship

This has been annoying me so much, and has been happening so often of late, that we need to coin a phrase to describe directors/ writers who go back and feel the need to tinker with (usually their own) classics. And this term should be “Doing A Lucas“.

I’ve been looking on the internet and I couldn’t find an adequate phrase or word to describe my anger at this, so for lack of better words we shall just have to use this new one. (Feel free to correct me if this exists already or there is an alternative out there.)

Why Lucas? If you’re not aware, he has form. First in the shape of going and changing Star Wars, like every other week. (“Han shot first.” “No he bloody didn’t. Even Lucas edited it to make it clear and he wrote it so it must be so”….*rumbles…earth shakes a tiny BOOM can be heard* That was fan boys and girls everywhere heads exploding from anger. Fucking Lucas.)

Lets not even start on George Titting Lucas and the whole “who shot first?”. Also the atrocity that was Anakin at the end of the Return of the Jedi being Christian Hayden. Let’s just leave that mess. Cause quite frankly it’s enough to make me weep.

*Burns an effigy of Jar Jar Binks*

The latest victim to be lost to a director on an ego whim, to another idiot Doing A Lucas, is the Alien franchise.

It could have been a decent film maybe without the Alien tag-on part. I kind of liked the idea that we were made by some other being, or somehow the DNA caused us, but why oh why, link that to Alien?

There could have been an interesting insight into why these superhuman creatures felt like destroying their own handiwork. Did they want to wipe us out because we were all war and misery? Following this, they – our own creators – want to destroy us (for whichever reason) having seen how we treat the life they have created, in the form of advance Robots and AI? After creating life, maybe humans still yearn to know about their origins?

However that was not there, instead the story got weak and then there was an Alien monster. Maybe. I’m still not entirely sure.

Dear directors, for the love of god, just be bold. Just do it. Make something new.

But  more importantly, why are directors doing this? Are they so terrified about making something new and it being shit that they just run back to their previous work that was successful?

Dear directors. Stop it. Make new shiny things, we beg you. Stop messing with the classics.

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