They say that looking for a job is a full time job. Well I’m about ready to hand in my notice as this job sucks. I have recently found myself a temp job for a popular electronic brand. And when I say a temp job, I mean very temporary. Like four and a half days temporary. But work is work, money is money, and it will be an excellent CV filling position so win-win. Well, win-win-lose.

The losing part is having to wake up early once again. After a few weeks of being able to sleep until the time of my body clock’s choosing, having to set my alarm really blows. I am so not a morning person.

Waking up should be a natural process. When you are required to use a device to scream at you until you move, something is very wrong in the world. Well, my world must be on the edge of an oncoming apocalypse, as I need three alarms. I have one alarm that is supposed to wake me up softly, which I turn off without opening my eyes and ignore. I have set my TV to turn on five minutes later when the BBC Breakfast team tries to wake me up, who I ignore. And finally my phone is set to scream at me until I move or at least fall out of bed and walk into a wall.

The only way I can get myself through a morning is via a solid dose of caffeine. I should also mention I do not drink tea or coffee and morning isn’t really the time for a Red Bull. So naturally I rely on caffeine pills. It’s that or cocaine, and I think the latter is generally frowned upon in the work place.

But I can’t even think about the workplace yet. I’ve just walked through my door without opening it first to go brush my teeth whilst constantly avoiding eye contact with the scary looking man in the mirror. He looks like one of those crazies you see riding the night bus who think they know fluent catspeak while wearing a gerbit hat on their knees and crying.

Next comes getting ready for the working day, which in most cases involves clothes. This brings me to the best part of this time of year…… Radiator pants!

You know what I’m talking about. You wake up and your room is an icebox as you can’t really afford to keep the heating on 24/7 and the blizzard outside has found its way into your room. You stumble over to your undies that are neatly draped on the radiator, pull them on and ahhhhhh, enjoy this moment. It doesn’t get much better than this. A non-religion specific deity must have created winter for the sake of bringing humanity radiator pants.  Or science. That explains most things as well.

Now I have a minty mouth, warm nether bits and a grumbling stomach. As a direct result of setting a stupid number of alarms and not getting up early enough, I happen to never have time for breakfast. The most important meal of the day apparently. So to make do, I thrust my hand into my box of Shreddies and graze from my hand like a horse with a dry cereal addiction.

This is me ready for the busy working day. I try to not fall downstairs and maim myself, and head out into the cold winter morning. And if I am very lucky, I remember to open my front door beforehand and preferably close it behind me after.

[box] Have you got your tickets yet to our awesome fundraiser Sex & Mugs & Rock ‘n’ Roll on the 24th November? Tickets are priced at just £8 for 6 hours of jam packed entertainment, dancing and cake. All to raise money for Janies School. Buy tickets now! [/box]

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