When I first started writing for The High Tea Cast I was single, and had been for many years. One night while watching Dancing on Ice, I made a twitter comment about fancying a contestant, and the hashtag #reasonsimsingle was born, as was a blog post about it.
Previous reasons included a love of One Direction, being too proud of being a geek and enjoying Jedward so much my Spotify account couldn’t cope with it.
But since writing that piece a lot has changed. The “lovely someone” who was a mere disclaimer on the original post, has since become my lovely boyfriend, and we’ve even moved in together. But despite being in a happy relationship, I’m still aware of things that I do, say and enjoy that mean I should be single. So rather than let my boyfriend know and risk getting dumped, I thought I’d tell you guys instead. You can keep a secret right?
I like High School Musical
If you thought liking Jedward was bad enough, I haven’t even got started yet. Ever since the High School movies came out I’ve been a massive fan, and it’s not even because I fancy Zac Efron (I actually fancy Ryan, the one no one fancies).
I own all three of the movies, the soundtracks are burned onto hard drive in case my computer crashes, and I even owned a High School Musical poster.
And while I’m digging myself a Wildcats shaped grave, I may as well admit that when the third movie of the franchise hit the cinema I actually went to see it, twice. The second time there was only three people there, me and my two mates. We sang and danced in the aisles, it was the best day of my life.
I can’t be around celebrities
If you’ve read some of my posts before, you’ll know this about me already, but this was probably one of the main reasons I used to be single. Not only do I get obsessed with my favourite celebrities, but when I meet them I make a proper tit out of myself.
I’ve curtseyed to Simon Pegg, fainted in front of James McAvoy, put on a fake welsh accent to Rob Brydon, and followed Stephen Mulhern into a pub.
So why would this affect my Facebook relationship status? Well, it’s now got to the point where even my friends won’t come and meet celebrities with me.
I had to meet Simon Pegg on my own because no one was daft enough to join the four hour queue with me. Not because they didn’t like him, no, I was a total loner that day because my friends knew I was going to embarrass myself and they’d be left holding the sign saying “I actually choose to know her”, and that’s far more embarrassing.
I get lost all the time
There’s not having a sense of direction, and then there’s me. I get lost everywhere, including on the way to my own home, after living there two months.
I manage to hide this from people for a short time by getting them to meet at tube stations and along bus routes, but it’s only a matter of time before I’m expected to meet them down the pub that we’ve visited hundreds of times. Cue me turning up two hours late because I’ve started out on the other side of London and walked all the way there.
I probably don’t help myself though, I can’t read a map and have so far chosen not to learn (a really mature attitude there). Even Google Maps can’t save me, and what should be my saviour tends to put me further away from my end destination than if I’d just guessed it.
Luckily my boyfriend is either incredibly understanding or just choosing to ignore these qualities. Unless he didn’t realise how bad they were, in which case my next blog post might be entitled, “reasons he broke up with me”.
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