This dating malarkey is hard (excuse the pun)!!

Recently, I was chatting with a guy on Grindr. He messaged me first (always a good sign…!) and thought that I was hot (equally good sign…!). We swapped numbers and texted each other a bit – nothing much.

On Saturday, I went out and had a few drinks. As some of my friends were unavailable, I headed to a couple of bars that would have a few people in that I would know. I started drinking and, as luck would have it, I recognised a few people. We joined up, wandered up to the Bulldog and went upstairs to the karaoke floor (always a good atmosphere and a generally chilled place to be).

Bulldog Brighton

We were drinking and enjoying the general ambiance when a really hot guy appeared at the top of the stairs. He had light brown hair, piercing eyes and the cheekiest smile I’d ever seen.

Our eyes locked and he grinned. I couldn’t believe it. My heart skipped a beat and I shyly smiled back.

I continued to have a few drinks with my friends, occasionally looking up and catching his eye as he sashayed around amongst his friends. Every time, his eyes twinkled and he gave me that same mischievous grin.

Eventually, I had drunk enough vodka. This gave me the confidence to gesture him over with a tilt of my head (in my head this was meant to be a sexy ‘come-to-me’ gesture, whereas in reality it was most probably seen as a drunken lunge to one side). He ambled over and greeted me with my name.

It was the guy from Grindr.

I had had no idea. And, I was so pleased. I fancied him from the moment I locked eyes on him and Grindr had introduced us.

Nothing happened between us, as he went home to drunkenly collapse. We have seen each other since and texted a lot.

But, I have since discovered that he may not be ready for a relationship. Normally, I would take this as an indication that he isn’t interested because he’s not grabbing the ‘bull by the horn’ (so to speak) and seeing how things go. But, with him, I’m not so sure that this is the case.

He’s an honest lad. He told me how he’s only just come out of a 5-year relationship and is still trying to get his head together.

I can relate to that.

When my boyfriend died in November 2007 it took me years to recover properly. I haven’t had a proper boyfriend since him. Despite starting to thaw last year and looking at men properly again as potential partners – I haven’t felt that ‘funny feeling’, like my stomach was a wave in the sea, since I started to spend some time with this new lad.

I can give him time. He needs his friends to give him support. I intend to give my friendship; at least, if nothing then happens between us, I’ve gained a new friend. Friendship is, after all, the greatest gift that any of us can give.

…but, I can still hope that things might happen…

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