Like many people, I’ve never been a fan of New Year. Unlike Christmas where at least you get presents in return for all your stress, NYE tends to bring nothing but disappointment.

I’ve tried every option for this dreaded night of the year; going to large house parties, small get-togethers, night clubs, old man pubs, going out in London, returning to Wales, and yet none have beaten the only good NYE I’ve ever had. This involved being so ill I was confined to my bed where I blissfully watched all my favourite childhood movies, alone, without fear of having no one to kiss at midnight or pressure to enjoy myself “because it was a new year”.

Because I’m incapable of keeping anything embarrassing a secret, I thought I’d make your NYE plans seem not so bad after all by giving you a run-down of some of my worst.

The year I got dumped

I’ve never had a boyfriend for New Year’s Eve before. Actually that’s a lie. I’ve had a boyfriend the day before it, but not during the actual night.

You guessed it, not only have I been dumped on Valentine’s Day, but I’ve also been dumped a mere few hours before a NYE party…where I was due to go with him and all his mates.

To be fair, he was a complete bellend and I was planning on breaking up with him anyway, but wanting to have someone, anyone, to kiss at midnight made me want to delay the dumping by 24 hours…sadly he had no such plans.

The year I got stuck in central London

The first NYE I ever spent in London was undoubtedly my worst. Unaware of where I could go, (and where I should avoid at all costs), me and some friends decided to head down to Central London, where we were told we’d get an amazing view of the capital’s fireworks.

So on this below freezing cold night (and I cannot describe in words how cold, other than saying BBRRRRRRR), and after spending hours getting ready, I put on my nicest/shortest Christmas dress and headed down there.

I don’t know what we expected in hindsight. By the time we got there, the roads were blocked off, literally. We ended up being trapped right behind a large bridge, inches away from where the fireworks were set to go off.

This big-ass bridge then obscured our view and therefore our knowledge that midnight had even happened. Ten minutes after midnight, our side of the bridge still wasn’t celebrating the arrival of January because we were still waiting for fireworks to prompt us…

If that wasn’t bad enough, we then spent 2 hours waiting to get back into the train station to go home. This wouldn’t be so bad, except for the entire duration, me and my friends were groped at random by a leering drunk man behind us.

The year I got slated by couples

I’ve always been happy as a single woman, even at New Year. And while it’s always nice to have someone to kiss at midnight, you won’t find me crying in the corner if I don’t.

Unfortunately as I’ve got older, more and more of my friends are settling down, and I slowly became the only singleton of the group. So when I was invited to a NYE party which consisted of only couples, I admit I probably should have decided against it.

The entire night I was flung questions about when I was planning on settling down, ordered to re-tell stories of embarrassing ex-boyfriends and disastrous dates for a stranger’s amusement. It was funny at first, but my love life is beyond embarrassing, and something I only like to discuss with close friends and The High Tea Cast.

The final straw came at midnight, when I was told that my love life mirrored one of a teenager. Funnily enough, I never did reply to their last NYE party invite…

The year I sat in an empty pub

Last year I had no plans for New Year, right up until the day before. So when I was invited out by some old school friends I literally bit their hand off in excitement.

We started in a local pub which was full to capacity and had a great atmosphere. Problem was, it soon started emptying out and by 11pm we were the only ones in there (well, us and a big screen showing Jools Holland).

When midnight struck, they didn’t want to hug or even hi-five in the New Year, they simply stood up, shook hands, finished their pint and went home.

Not the rock and roll new year I was hoping for…

So there you are, some of my worst NYE stories. For the first time ever I’m planning on spending this New Year with my boyfriend. Let’s hope that my first High Tea Cast post of 2013 doesn’t start with, “Reasons why we broke up at New Year”…

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