“The whole damn world is just as obsessed with who’s the best dressed and who’s having sex.”

If you paid the US pop-punk scene any attention in 2006, you’ll know that this satirical line is from happy-go-lucky Texas band Bowling For Soup’s song, High School Never Ends. In 2006 I was getting myself ready to attend university. In fact, I was so keen to go to university that I was trying to work out the cheapest way to feed myself and keep myself drunk before I’d even taken my AS Levels. I so wanted to grow up and do away with futile secondary school concerns that when Bowling For Soup released this track, I couldn’t and wouldn’t believe that there was any truth in it.

How could these silly, easily avoided things plague me into adulthood? There was no chance mature people did stupid stuff. None at all.

…Oh, how wrong I was.

Simple instructions: Still simple. Still ignored.

Sometimes adults mess up a council tax payment, sometimes they propel themselves all guns blazing into a task at work that’d be much easier (and correct) if they’d read a document emailed to them a week beforehand. Whether it’s down to forgetfulness, the overwhelming idea that despite something being written down they’re arrogant enough to decide they JUST KNOW BETTER or that they’re just not very thorough, someone’s complete inability to carry out a simple bullet point task drives me round the bend. The worst bit is that I know I do this too.

To all intents and purposes, not carrying out instructions to the full will still make your life a ruddy misery. The main difference is that it translates into an office environment. As a kid this ends in mum attempting to be calm about the situation then descending into a full blown argument that lingers into the next morning. As an adult there’s the couple of narky emails. Then there’s the polite chat when the pissed off party appears at your desk. Then it’s fed back to you via someone who had nothing to do with it. Then it’s talked about at length and monitored. And all you needed to do in the first place was something simple.

Surely listening first time around – as we continually tell kids to do – would’ve saved an awful lot of hassle. 

Dorito prank
Sam’s simple instruction was “Do not place Doritos on my person while I sleep”.

Gossip, bitching and bullying

All too often – and primarily in the blogosphere – I suddenly realise that something petty blew up into a high school popularity contest, sharpened up with a bout of bitching.

Underhand tell-taling and ganging up to take someone down now takes pointless shape in the public forum that is Twitter and Facebook (there are even actual forums dedicated exclusively to judging online figures on everything from their content to their weight). Just as the mean kids in school used to play their mates off against each other, fully grown adults do it out loud and in a trackable text fashion.

It still kicks people’s confidence in. It still makes people cry. It’s still as pointless as childhood arguments. It happens way too much, and mostly by people who lack confidence enough in themselves that bitching and trolling makes them feel better. It’s all too similar to 12 year old issues isn’t it?

I still can’t do maths

My mum used to be able to help me with any homework in any subject. I felt assured that as I grew up to be more wise and worldly I’d be able to tackle all subjects as if I were Einstein himself, and that I’d be able to show my kids how to do long multiplication fraction Pythagoras Theorem sums.

Nope. Still can barely count change properly. 

You’ll still accidentally be a dick at some point

Passive agressive tweeting, misreading an email and feeling it’s appropriate to start an argument with your mate by text about nothing. 

This is how teenagers start arguments. The adult way to sort it? Cool off overnight and talk face to face in the morning. So simple. So rarely done.

It’s still all about image

From fashion websites to glossy magazines, we judge each other so heavily on what we’re wearing and how much makeup we’re wearing that we still don’t have the sense to look beyond it. It’s a sad thing that the materialistic standards we had preached at us growing up are so ingrained. Vogue should not the tool by which we measure good people – yet so many of us justify bitchy actions by knowing we look good doing it. Mature…

Credit Card cake
This is an image. An image of me cutting a cake with a credit card.

You’ll still cry at arguments

Like a baby. I sulk too.

Boys still are the root of most problems

Because no matter how independent you are, emotions still get in the way and the bastards will still get you down. 

Will high school ever end?

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