Ok so I’ve always thought going Dutch sounded like something dirty and it would appear that for some women it really isn’t something they all look too kindly on. A recent discussion amongst some of the ladies here at Team Tea revealed one tale of an office colleague declaring a date to be terrible simply because the guy in question had decided to split the night 50/50. This obviously leads onto the great dating question which still seems to be asked about who should foot the bill for those all important first few dates.
I say first few because I think once people get into more established relationships and there’s a greater understanding of personal circumstances, plus perhaps an actually liking has developed one would hope, then this question becomes more and more meaningless, or at least of a different nature.
I am pretty brand new to this dating malarkey. I’ve spent most, no make that all, my adult life basically in a relationship so all these questions are very new to me. I do find this thing, however, about who pays rather silly and irrelevant. For instance if you start dating you know you’re going to have to make some outlay, right? It isn’t the 1950s (however much I’d love the fashions to be so) and we ladies do all work and look after ourselves without our fathers or husbands so we have the means to pay our way on a date.
I did ask my mum about this, she was dating in the 60s and she said it was harder back then to pay your own way because men really did earn more money and the attitudes were very different. To be honest if one partner earns more (male or female) I see no reason why they shouldn’t sometimes pick up the odd bit of slack for the other. However to write a guy off simply because he’s saying ‘lets be equal in this dating game’ is harsh, and perhaps you’re writing off rather a nice chap.
I find that a date paying all night makes me slightly uncomfortable and rightly or wrongly makes me feel somehow I’m beholden to them. Whether that is to remain on the date (sometimes one just wants to drink that first drink and frankly get the hell out of there) or to go on a second date (again sometimes I would rather individually pluck each hair from my armpit than sit another minute with the dull, self obsessed, suit clad twerp let alone subject myself to another rendezvous!).
Well placed chivalry on the other hand I find rather lovely. For instance I recently went on a date where the gent in question held every door open for me. There were some rather funny moments whilst I stood there looking at him blankly before realising he wanted me to walk through it. He also asked me what I wanted to eat and then ordered all the food with the waitress, not that I sat there idle I did order the all important booze for the dinner. But I found it lovely that he’d listened to what I had wanted and remembered and just cut some time by doing it all together. I’ve known other women to be offended by this but you see like everything it’s all in the delivery. In summary I guess it’s a minefield when it comes to dating, and sometimes we find stupid reasons just not to like someone who we plainly don’t fancy.
Perhaps ‘Mr let’s go 50/50’ was a horrible bore, and had terrible halitosis and visibly scratched himself in public too, but to cite his obvious equal treatment of his date as a reason to never see him again seems unfair and a little outmoded. What do you think?
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