You may think it’s tough to find anything negative to say about wall to wall sunshine.  Glorious long hot days, beer gardens, windows thrown open and skin turning a lovely golden shade of brown without even really trying.  With a heat wave in full effect, grey old rainy England has become a temporary tropical paradise.  

This yellow ball has a lot to answer for

This is all very well if you’re on holiday or don’t work, but what if you’ve still got to go about your day to day graft in the blistering heat? Unfortunately for those of us trying to carry on as normal, a sweaty daily loop of annoyance and summer hazards awaits.  And it goes a little something like this…   

Daylight, too much daylight

It’s light. All the time.  When you go to bed, and when a beaming shaft of sunlight forces you awake at 4am.  An eye mask is a good way to create the blackout effect your bedroom curtains are failing miserably to achieve, but don’t forget you’re wearing it and wake up in a literal blind panic.  Not the best start to the day.   

Most will have heard the phrase “up with the lark”, but what about “up with the pigeon”? Yes it seems our feathered friends can’t deal with the heat either and so are getting up early doors to flap, coo and act as a general menace.  Right outside your bedroom window.

Melting face and frizzing hair

Thanks to a healthy sun-kissed glow, you may need less makeup, and that face staring back at you in the morning mirror may not look too shabby. Come lunchtime it’s a different story.  The mascara that adorned your lashes will have slid to your cheeks, and the once smooth and shiny hair will now be as wide as it’s long.  One saving grace is that you can bin the blusher as a full-on radish face effect will yours for free.

Dressing in an acceptable way for the office when temperatures rise can also be a big challenge, luckily this brilliant HTC post can help you deal with that.

Wheels on fire

It’s hard to believe the car you spent half an hour of your morning scraping ice from a few months ago has transformed itself into a furnace on four wheels.  Those with air-con should thank their lucky stars.  Those who don’t, wind the windows down, and be sure to park in the shade, unless you want to end up a melted pool of liquid in the driver’s footwell.  

No fan of work

So you’ve made it to work. Well done! A hot bed of misery awaits.  It’s too warm to function and everyone wants to talk about it.  Never mind, you can block out sound of whinging with one of a range of completely useless desk fans which serve no purpose other than create a wind tunnel of papers and enhance previously discussed terrible frizz hair.

Nasty creatures

Moths, bumble bees, daddy long-legs, they’ve all come down to the insect party that seems to be going on in office and bedroom windows across the nation. The commotion and terror caused by a wasp buzzing among the filing cabinets is enough to stop work and almost bring down an organisation.

Holding a firm place at the top of the annoying insects chart is the mosquito. This little guy thoughtfully waits till you turn off your bedside light to climb inside your ear canal and soothe you to sleep with his impression of the world’s tiniest power drill.  Despite the pesky creature having no problem with getting up close and personal when it’s dark, flick on the bedside light and he’s nowhere to be seen.  If you’re really lucky he may have left you a nice itchy red bite to remember him by.   

Can’t sleep

Night time is supposed to be a cooler part of the day, but cover yourself with a duvet or even the thinnest of sheets and within minutes you’re baking at gas mark 100.  Opening windows is a good plan but this runs the risk of being kept awake by the sound of fighting cats and revellers stumbling home after a summer’s evening at the pub.  Ear plugs are an option, but if you’ve gone with the eye mask idea mentioned earlier, that’s two key senses you’re waking up without.  Enough to cause mild, if not extreme alarm.  

And so begins another day in the cycle of heat wave doom.  What are your top hot weather irritations?

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