Overly excited

1. Intense, unmitigated excitement, restricted only by the 140 character limit.

Why did I get a gf?

2. Textbook masculine restriction of emotion, likely immediately and permanently defeated by the appearance of Mary on the staircase in lilac. Hopeful long-term eventuation: loss of girlfriend to more sensitive soul.

Wednesday Adams

3. Quasi-amusing cultural reference, signifying that Mary’s reaction to the sudden death of her life-partner is over-played, and reminiscent of the gothic musings of an over-stimulated child.

Who da fvck

4. Possibly deliberate misspelling of common expletive, possibly to indicate disparagement and lack of giving of fvcks.

Professor mcgonals

5. Genuinely amusing cultural reference, questioning the Dowager’s legitimacy as a 1920s matron, and postulating her truthful existence as a superior witch (see: Animagus) in Muggle disguise.

Needs more lesbians

6. Probable feminism-inclined party postulating that the enjoyability of said period drama would be improved by activities such as “scissoring” and “muff-diving”. Postulation corroborated by author. Possible lewd inference in inclusion of word “period”.

I want to love

7. Viewer expresses desire either to reside within the walls of said residence or to make love gently and with emotional attachment on the kitchen floor by the electric mixer.

Crying touching children

8. Expression of positive emotional reaction to the fondling of young children. Emotional resonance spoiled in part by unfortunate pedophilic overtones.

Naked in the kitchen

9. Enjoyment of healthful beverage; desire for attention. Recommend that Tweeter revisits interest in clothes and apostrophes. Also recommend study of Freud and/or Oedipus.

Crusty fannied undersexed

10. Emotive dismissal of probable audience of Downton Abbey, possibly resulting in furtive inspection of nethers in nearest reflective surface by sensitive readers. Author reluctantly included.

"Did you just write "crusty-fannied" in an article?"
“Did you just write “crusty-fannied” in an article?”

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