It’s no secret that I’m a massive Disney fan. I own pretty much all of the movies on DVD (and VHS) and will regularly try and convince my boyfriend to watch one on rainy Sunday afternoons (or sunny Sundays or slightly cold Sundays. Basically any Sunday).
On one of the occasions that I actually convinced him and his whole family to watch Mulan, I started over thinking about Disney princesses and wondered what would happen if they existed today. They’d surely have a Facebook page and are bound to tweet all the eligible princes in the land. Right?
So how would our fair Disney princesses use social media?
Out of all the Disney princesses, Rapunzel would make the most of social media and would probably create her own online business. She’d have her own YouTube channel where she’d give tips on looking after long and unmanageable hair (and possibly how to dye it blonde…I‘m not convinced that her hair doesn’t come out of a box).
Being alone and stuck up in a tall tower, she’d have plenty of time on her hands to constantly update her channel and promote it on Facebook and Twitter, so she’d soon get a large followings of fans.
Plus living that high up, mobile reception would be amazing so she’d never have to worry about not having signal or not being able to upload her Instagram pictures showing off her latest hairdo.
Most likely to tweet: Washed my hair today, it took 3 hours to dry it.
Least likely to tweet: Getting my hair cut today! Lol!
Snow White would be quite lonely on Facebook as she’d only have 7 friends. As a result she’s most likely to befriend people she doesn’t know on Facebook and tweet z-list celebrities in the hope they’d reply (Lee Ryan being her particular favourite).
Out of all the Disney princesses, Snow White would be the most likely to join online dating. She lives alone in a forest and hasn’t fallen in love with any of the 7 men she lives with (practically unheard of in Disney), so she clearly needs to expand her horizons.
Most likely to tweet: PLEASE FOLLOW ME OR RETWEET ME! I’M SO ALONE!
Least likely to tweet: Having a house party and thousands of people turned up!
Because her days only consist of doing chores, being bossed around by her ridiculous sisters and talking to mice, Cinderella would fill your timeline with the most sad and emo-like statuses you’ll ever see. Even when something nice happens to her and she gets to go outside and live a little, she’s given a curfew by someone she’s never met and is back in rags within hours. Gutted.
Because she’s clearly a lovely person (and because her statuses would make you feel better about your life) you’d never delete her from your Facebook though.
Most likely to tweet: Sang with mice today…then cried.
Least likely to tweet: I’m not cleaning today and having a lie-in!
For those of you that haven’t seen this film, Mulan pretends to be a man and join the army in place of her elderly father who has been called up to go to war but is too frail to go. All you need to know is that Eddie Murphy plays her dragon assistant. It’s brilliant.
Fighting for her country and proving that women are just as capable and strong as men (if not more so in this movie), Mulan is the best feminist of all the Disney princesses as she kicks more ass than any of the men in the army. Go Mulan!
As well as fighting for women’s rights, Mulan would also have her own personal blog where she could release the emotional strain of keeping such a whopping secret from her army buddies and share her daily attempts to “lose” the annoying dragon.
Most likely to tweet: This dragon sounds exactly like Donkey from Shrek…he’s so annoying.
Least likely to tweet: Cutting my hair short makes me look exactly like a man.
I was also going to talk about Sleeping Beauty. But then I realised she’d only have one status (“It’s my birthday tomorrow, can’t wait!”) and then she’d drop off your timeline for 100 years. Lazzzyyy.
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