“I’m only human, I’ve made mistakes, I’ve apologized”
I will start with a disclaimer. At the time of writing this, Rob Ford is still (somehow) mayor of Toronto, and this fact alone is freaking unbelievable. The story of this embattled mayor is certainly stranger than most fiction you’ll come across this year.
Political scandals in England just aren’t as entertaining as what is happening over in Ontario Canada right now. When we get scandals here, we are used to seeing some shuffling old goat admitting or denying what he is accused of doing, he will then step down and we’ll never hear from them again. The entertainment value is seriously limited.
In fact, the only entertaining face in British politics comes from the mad cap walking blonde bushel that is Boris Johnson, our trusty mayor of London. And while him batting around terms like wiff waff or dangling from a wire as he waves around little flags is certainly worth a giggle, there are sinister undertones to his apparent buffoonery. Don’t forget this is a man educated at Eton and Oxford; he is no fool no matter how he portrays himself.
But while BoJo definitely has an obvious level of comedic value, what is happening in Toronto right now is truly staggering in its level of insanity. The mayor of Canada’s largest city is somewhat predictably facing serious pressure to step down since admitting to smoking crack cocaine. But this admission was not enough as he has since admitted to buying illegal drugs as mayor, drinking a lot in office, shouting threats directed an unnamed target, all the while facing allegations of drunk driving, using racially abusive language, threatening staff and consorting with a prostitute. Not to mention a not so hidden disdain for homosexual individuals and generally being a dick. So quite a rap sheet.
Yet Mr Ford manages to remains power. So this is a tribute to the most bizarre political story of the year. A story of legendary stickability. A series of events that would cause Silvio Berlusconi to break into spontaneous applause. And behaviour that keeps us on edge, wanting to know what happens next.
Recently he has done the rounds giving interviews, turning up at a football game despite being told not to and while apologising for making an obscene outburst live on TV, he denied offering oral sex to a female staff member stating “I get enough (pussy) at home”. It never ends!
I am almost sad to see the story coming to an end. The City of Toronto have already begun removing his powers and budget, transferring them to the deputy mayor. These actions causing his brother to attack the city, claiming they are undermining the wishes of the people. But his brother also gave an interview with a massive bottle of vodka in clear sight under his desk, so maybe we won’t put much stock in his opinions…. Or the fact the Brothers Dimm are planning to start broadcasting their own current affairs show, Ford Nation, to try and swing public opinion.
In a recent City Council meeting to strip him of his remaining powers, he started wandering around snapping photos of the public on his phone, before breaking into a light jog around the room and effectively rugby tackling a woman to the ground.
You really can’t make it up. So to the chunky sticky limpet of Canadian politics, this little blog is a tribute to the joy you have brought to comedians, satirists and bloggers around the world. Thank you, you have been hilarious. I leave you with Stephen Colbert to wrap things up.
Join our tribe
We promise to pop a whole host of good stuff into your inbox every Wednesday to brighten up your week. Can't say fairer than that now can we?