Allow me to tell you about a little known place called the Daily Mail website. If you haven’t heard of the place before, it’s ok, prepare to learn. The Daily Mail is a place where you can find articles written by journalists with incredible integrity and an astounding lack of bias. I‘m being serious, let me show you.
“Glasses, bushy eyebrows, a furry forehead and acne: is this what Kim Kardashian would look like if she wasn’t famous”. With that kind of title, who wouldn’t be gripped? As you can imagine, it is very difficult to be beautiful if you don’t have money and here is the proof! You can taste the poverty.
It seems like quite a reasonable assessment of an alternate reality in which the Kardashian family wasn’t stinking rich. Unfortunately tweezers are quite an expensive commodity in this day and age, so should you not be lucky enough to earn upwards of £624,000 a year, neat eyebrows are completely out of the question. Add onto that the cost of makeup, a basic haircut and contact lenses, the costs are simply too prohibitive to be attractive.
Next up is poor Sharon Osbourne. In this dystopian alternate reality where the rich are poor, she never stood a chance. Do you know how much red hair dye costs?! Without money, you could even say that her facial structure has altered. The results of average income are truly horrifying.
So inspired I was by this article, I thought I would try my hand at stepping into this parallel universe. Naturally I have to keep the serious tone, so decided to explore the effect of money on dogs. Without the input of significant financial backing, this poor pooch didn’t fare well. Most obviously, his grooming regime was impacted and could no longer maintain his luscious locks, but more importantly the diet of quality kibble disappeared overnight. Needless to say, the weight loss was alarming. For just £1 a week, you could help provide Scooby snacks, manicures and fortnightly haircuts for poor pooches like Kelvin here.
So if as the Daily Mail quite astutely points out, beauty and healthy living are only for the rich. If a loss of earnings makes you ugly, surely a significant influx of funds will have the reverse effect? As any brave visionary would do, I put myself forward to face the consequence of cash.
I’ve gotta admit, I seem to have mellowed in my life of luxury and am quite happy with the results. I will be asking for a raise at work tomorrow. Keep up the outstanding work Daily Mail.
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