Pretty soon, that annual email is going to appear in your work inbox. You know the one, it tells you that you’re representing the company at the work Christmas party so don’t drag its good name through the mud with loutish behaviour, or something similar. Sometimes, it’s a preventative measure, others, it’s because of past experience. Tales of work party impropriety are legend in any workplace, and I’m sure you’ve heard some. If you want to prevent your name entering that particular apocrypha, here are a few tips.

Don’t get drunk

Actually, that should say “don’t get steamingly, vomit-on-the-coats drunk”. There’s nothing wrong with putting the ‘merry’ in Merry Christmas, especially when the boss is buying the drinks, but don’t go bonkers. You don’t want to be forever known as the girl who passed out on the dance floor with her arse in the air, do you?

Christmas table

Choose your wardrobe carefully

Yes, that little black dress looks awesome on you. Yes, its low cut neckline does make your cleavage look amazing. No, it won’t stay put on the dodgems. Yes, you will flash your tits at the entire office. Yes, the photos will be on Facebook before you have time to fix your straps. If your work’s party includes any sort of enthusiastic dancing or fairground attraction, at least wear a decent bra.

Don’t shag your colleagues

Definitely not your boss, especially if he’s married. It makes things way too awkward at work. If you absolutely have to get on top of your co-worker, make sure you use a condom. You really don’t want to have to ask the hot guy in sales if she gave you an STI. Oh, and while we’re on the subject, lock the door while you’re at it. There’s really nothing worse than walking in on your colleagues in the act.

Be safe, in advance

Book your taxi home before you leave. Designate someone you trust to watch your drink while you’re on the dance floor. Tuck some emergency money and your house key in your bra. Get a friend to spot you when you’re dancing on the window ledges. Do all this before the party starts, then you can enjoy the night without having a worry.

Don’t indulge in larceny

Christmas parties are often held in fancy hotels with lovely ornaments on their enormous trees. Surely they wouldn’t miss one or two, would they? Oh, check out the selection of perfumes in the ladies! No-one would care if we took this one. They might. Technically, it’s theft which is gross misconduct. If you get away with it, it’s a great story, if you’re caught, you could be sacked.


Christmas tree 

Have fun

It’s the one time of year where management and staff get together and let their hair down. Whether you’re having a meal together as a small department or a massive party night in a hotel, enjoy yourself. It is Christmas, after all.

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