Everyone likes saving money when they can; it’s just common sense. But at what cost do you want to save those pennies? You can’t help but have noticed it was Black Friday recently, but what is this ominous sounding day really about?

Well basically it is the day after a holiday in another country that means nothing to us in the UK, where shops offer highly discounted products for one day only. “Why is it called Black Friday?” I hear you cry. Well apparently it dates back to 1975 in Philadelphia where the cops used to call it Black Friday due to the pollution caused by the sheer number of shoppers. History lesson up in your face! (or urban myth, but it’s the closest I could get to a definitive reason).

Seeing that Thanksgiving means absolutely nothing to the average British denizen, how has Black Friday reached these shores? We can thank the American behemoth Amazon for the frenzied flurries we recently witnessed on the news. They brought Black Friday deals to our green and verdant lands and when a retailer the size of Amazon does something, other retailers inevitably follow suit (the American owned ASDA being an obvious tagalong). 

Black Friday UK
Hello desperation

Saving money is all well and good, but the whole point of the Black Friday marketing machine is to create a chaotic shopping environment with an induced sense of panic, whether the shopper realises it or not. The shops play up tempo music to keep you on edge and the deadline of these one day only deals tends to make logic and reasonable decision making fly out of the window. At least I hope this is actually the case, otherwise the scenes we saw on the news are an even more crushing indictment of the state of humanity. What we saw on TV was like an end of the world movie – The Black Friday Aftermath, humanity implodes and destroys society as we know it and Tom Cruise has to save the day with his piercing stare.

We all saw them. People rushing the doors of our major supermarkets, having queued for hours, all in order to save £80 on a Polaroid TV…. A mother clucking Polaroid TV. Who knew Polaroid made fucking TVs?! If deals of this caliber can send people over the edge and spark fist fights on shop floors, I don’t want to live on this planet anymore. I would rather spend £80 to stay at home and watch my wall, because at least I won’t get punched and my wall won’t break as soon as the year is up.

Batman Black Friday
Even the Dark Knight has to fight for discounted goods

It doesn’t take too much logic to realize that Black Friday is a time when retailers take the opportunity to discount discontinued products that were going to be discounted anyway and piggyback the chaos the day creates to get rid of a lot of shit. Of course other deals are thrown in, but as was evident from 95% of Amazon’s Black Friday lighting deals this year, it was mostly shit. BUT GET IT NOW BECAUSE IT MIGHT BE GONE IN A MINUTE!

America has a lot of great things they have given us and can still give us, like 24 episode seasons of impeccably crafted TV gold, proper peanut butter, real Mountain Dew and the cronut. But I hope we have kept the Black Friday receipt because I want to give it back.

Join our tribe

We promise to pop a whole host of good stuff into your inbox every Wednesday to brighten up your week. Can't say fairer than that now can we?

Thank you for subscribing.

Something went wrong.