Valentine's Cookies

Let’s cut to the chase. I am not a Valentines Day fan. Whether single or taken, I just don’t go along with the idea that you’re pressured into showing your feelings for someone with sappy gifts or expensive dinners on this one day. I think all of Team Tea agrees with me when I say it’s the little spontaneous gestures throughout the year (e.g. getting to choose the next Netflix boxset marathon) that mean far more than any number of flashy displays of affection when the 14th rolls in.

valentine sugar cookie

So, February’s sweet thing recipe goes out to all of you who feel the same and either want a little treat for someone special with an awesome sense of humour or to get creative with some zero-schmaltz snacks to enjoy whilst flipping the bird at this hallmark holiday season.  

valentine sugar cookie

These sarcastic sugar valentines cookies certainly taste sugary sweet but there’s nothing saccharine about their messages. I had so many ideas for these but alas the piping nozzle I used was too large so I’d definitely recommend finding a very fine nozzle to use. If any of you anti-valentines readers out there manage to fit “Ovaries before Brovaries” on a cookie ala Leslie Knope, you will be my hero!

valentine sugar cookie

valentine sugar cookie

"Is that it?" Valentines Cookies
Yields 12
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Prep Time
1 hr 20 min
Cook Time
8 min
Prep Time
1 hr 20 min
Cook Time
8 min
For the cookies
  1. 170g unsalted butter, room temperature
  2. 150g caster sugar
  3. 1 large egg
  4. 2 tsp vanilla extract
  5. 280g plain flour
  6. 1/2 tsp baking powder
For the icing
  1. Food colourings of your choice
  2. 150g icing sugar
  3. Cold water
  4. Ready to use white piping icing
For the cookies
  1. Using an electric whisk or a wooden spoon and some elbow grease, mix together the sugar and butter until light and creamy.
  2. Add the egg and vanilla and mix again until completely combined.
  3. Mix together the flour and baking powder then add, a little at a time, to the dough mix. Whisk together until the mix comes together to make the dough. If it feels too sticky add a spoon of flour and mix again until it’s soft but solid enough to handle and roll out.
  4. Wrap the dough in clingfilm and chill in the fridge for at least 1 hour.
  5. Preheat your oven 170C.
  6. Take the dough from the fridge, unwrap and roll out on a floured surface.
  7. Cut out your heart shapes with your cutter and keep re-rolling the dough until it’s all used.
  8. Place your hearts on a greaseproof lined baking tray and bake for 8-10 minutes or until the cookies just begin to colour slightly.
  9. Cool on the tray for 5 minutes then remove to a wire rack to cool completely.
For the icing
  1. Split your icing sugar evenly into bowls, depending on how many colours you are making.
  2. Add a drop of colouring into each bowl and a tbsp of cold water. Mix together until smooth. You may need to add a little extra water and/or icing sugar until you get the right consistency.
  3. Using a teaspoon, put a dollop of icing into the middle of each cookie and using a palette knife, spread evenly over the cookie, leaving a gap at the edges. Leave to set.
  4. Using your white piping bag, get crazy with your messages!
  5. Once set, enjoy yourself or share them (if you must)
Unsorry Magazine

 Go forth and spread some sarcastic Valentine’s cookie joy!

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