Have you ever had an epiphany about yourself? Specifically when you realise something about yourself that you really don’t like? Well I had one of those moments recently. I took a hard look at myself and realised I was being negative basically all the time, about practically everything.
Unsurprisingly this was affecting my relationships because I just couldn’t get it under control. I was just letting it win. I was just accepting this rather than being brave enough to fight it. So recently I decided to fight back and punch it into the dirt.
If you’re struggling with negativity, here are some things I’ve found to be effective so far. I’d love to hear your ideas too!
Considering it’s such a life saver for so many people, counselling can sometimes get a bad reputation. Ok, it doesn’t work for everyone, and different types of counselling work for different people. I personally find regular counselling a godsend, others prefer CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, it teaches you coping mechanisms).
It’s a great way to get all the negativity out for an hour and leave it behind you when you close the door. It can also help you realise why you might be being so negative in the first place so you can work on it and find ways to cope with it better.
Social media ban days
I don’t know about you, but seeing my friends on Facebook having a great time when I’m in bed doesn’t exactly put me in a positive mood. And yet I wouldn’t be feeling that way if I hadn’t gone on Facebook in the first place.
So every now and again I’ll have a day where I ban myself from going on any social media. I’ll then spend that time contacting actual people and making plans rather than throwing a succession of pity parties. Because I hold them regularly and there’s nothing on my timeline to show for it yet.
And I don’t mind admitting that my social media ban days are THE BEST.
It’s such a cliché but it’s true; exercise can lift your mood and outlook like nothing else. And I’m not talking about running all the way home or spending hours upon hours at the gym either (sod that, I have Game of Thrones to watch, I’m a busy woman).
Just a 20 minute walk after work can turn my frown upside down. Ok it might not work straight away, and sometimes the 20 minute walk becomes a 30 minute and taking the bus home rather than the train, but it gets there in the end.
A great pal of exercise, visiting a location that has great memories can remind you of the positive things in life. You don’t even have to physically go there, even picturing the locations and all the happy memories you’ve had there will make positivity a winner.
When it comes to silencing negativity, nothing beats drowning the bastard out like your favourite music. Whether you want to shake it off and get down to a sick beat with Taylor Swift, or let out you inner emo with Fall out Boy, listening to your favourite songs can keep the negativity at bay.
And don’t worry if your chosen tracks sound a little absurd to anyone else. I actually find slow ballads and sad sounding songs oddly make me feel positive. This one in particular I personally find helpful…
Friends at the right times
If we’ve learnt anything from the sitcom FRIENDS (the sitcom that now just makes us all feel old), it’s that friends will always be there for you. But they want you to be there for them too, and you can’t if you’re constantly being negative about everything all the time.
I am guilty of telling my friends about everything that is shit in my life and leaving out the good stuff. I sometimes don’t even ask how they are and just bombard them with negative story after negative story. I don’t even mean to, it’s just become this annoying habit, and it’s a habit I’m now trying to quit (along with smoking, drinking and having bad choices in men).
Of course if you’re having a bad time you should talk to your friends, that’s what they’re there for. But if you find yourself constantly texting or calling them with negative stories or moaning about that latest thing that you won’t do anything about, then maybe think before you text.
If I’m being completely honest, I’m still struggling to be a completely positive person all the time, (especially as I suffer from depression). But I know with enough hard work and less complaining, that the negative Nancy side of me won’t be such a little bitch.
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