The word ‘detoxing’ is thrown around so frequently these days that it has almost lost all meaning. With countless tips available on how to rid ourselves of the nasties that pollute our bodies on a daily basis, we’ve become much more mindful of how what we eat and drink can affect us. But what about other forces that may be at work? When fixated on removing the chemical toxins, we sometimes miss much bigger pollutants; people.
They are not always easy to spot
Identifying and removing toxic people from your life can be difficult, and some even disguise themselves at first. But just like food that doesn’t quite agree with us, when coming into contact with these people, eventually something will start to feel ‘off’. This is when you are faced with the dilemma of going with what your gut is trying to tell you, or choosing to ‘put up and shut up’ with uncomfortable situations.
Detoxing the friend zone
Your circle of friends should be a safe place, no matter the size. You should feel comfortable enough to be yourself, and have to make no apologies for it. A good friend will be supportive, offer an ear when you need to get nonsense off your chest, and if you’re lucky, laugh with you until you’re just about ready to puke. Any friend worth their salt will not hesitate to tell you when they think you’re being a bit of a dick, which is something we all need from time to time. But identifying the difference between home truth telling and straight up douchebaggery is what is crucial here.
A toxic person in your friendship circle is probably not somebody you would even call a friend on paper if you had to assess things, but they seem to be ‘around’ a lot. They may be subtle in their approach, so as not to draw attention to their true agenda, but with a keen eye you’ll be able to spot them. They will be the ones that never clap when you win. No matter what there may be to celebrate, you can be sure that they will find a downside, perched and ready to sprinkle the piss on your chips. Want opinions on what you’re wearing on that first date? Don’t ask them. By the time they’ve finished offering their two pence worth, you’ll probably no longer want to go.
If someone is upsetting the balance of things, and possess no redeeming qualities that you can identify, you don’t have to put up with their shit. If you’ve confronted them, tried and failed to get to the bottom of what the REAL issue is, it might be time to put distance between you. If that isn’t always an option, be careful what you share in their presence. Don’t allow them the satisfaction of sucking the joy out of all that is good and worth celebrating. Share good news with those who genuinely have your best interests at heart.
The woes of the workplace
We spend so much time in our working environments, which is why it’s important to make our surroundings as pleasant as possible. Even if you’re fortunate enough to not loathe Mondays, there could still be room for improvement.
The average workplace is filled with a plethora of characters, some of whom you will gel with and some, not so much. But it is important to be able to distinguish between those who you simply don’t click with, and those who seem to make it a habit of causing friction.
Typically, the person you’re looking out for is someone who never has anything good to say about anything or anyone. For example, they are likely to try and pick holes in the work of others, offering endless critique and details of how they probably could have done a better job (they are rarely asked for this input). But don’t expect them to ever volunteer themselves for said task in the first place though. They will conveniently save all of the ‘opinions’ for after the job is done. Funny that….
Unfortunately, there is no way to fully detox your workplace. Unless you work from home with only your cat for company, it is likely that you will encounter negative people. The key to dealing with them is to change how you let them affect you. This is of course much easier said than done, especially when one particular arsehole has just shouted over you in a meeting or rubbished one of your ideas for the umpteenth time. But changing your perspective in the situation will help you to better process the feelings of rage you’ll undoubtedly have. Very rarely is anyone bad enough at their job to warrant hostile treatment, so the issue is not you, it is them. When you think to yourself “Good grief! How crappy must their life be for them to be such an enormous arse hat?”, you’ll end up forgetting about the anger and feeling grateful that you don’t have to be them.
Put up your shields!
Whether you’re facing friction at work, a negative force trying to infiltrate your friend circle, or God forbid, a relative that you wish you could disown, the key is to step back and assess whether your reaction to them could make a situation better or worse. If someone chooses to be a dick, that’s out of your control, but how you allow it to impact your life is not. Put those shields up! When you encounter these unsavoury types, don’t absorb the toxins they are trying to poison you with. Use the good vibes from those who do appreciate you for the wonderful being that you are as a barrier, and keep it moving.
How do you deal with negative people when detoxing your life?
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