Politics is a murky and shady place, full of unlikeable wanktards and cretins, especially if you work your way through the Conservative roster. So I feel like I can take solace in the ludicrous world of American politics. Firstly, how come they get someone cool and relatable like Obama and we get Eton elitists like Cameron. And secondly, how on earth do presidential candidates campaign for a year when we can do it in only four weeks? Obama and Romney almost managed to spend 2 billion dollars last time around, where our lot spent under a tenner on a couple meals from Greggs.

President Obama
Obama got his presidential meals from Waitrose

American politics is an absurd place and that’s why it is so fascinating. Obama had to work for years to get affordable healthcare for everyone into law, and still almost half the country think that is a terrible idea. That being said, a large number of Americans don’t believe global warming is real and tighter gun controls after innumerous massacres is a bad thing.

Despite this concerning climate, I love America and I think that everywhere has morons, it just so happens American morons stateside are louder than your average dunce. Hey hey hey Honey Boo Boo, it looks like the Jeremy Kyle show is on again.

While the UK election was an uninspiring mire of Cameron going about taking selfies and eating and Ed Miliband starving himself so he couldn’t be photographed eating ever again, the Presidential race over in America just got very interesting.

Yes you have Hilary Clinton waging what is effectively a PR campaign with currently little substance looking to become the first ever female president. But the person I am interested in is the world’s worst walking hairpiece, Donald Trump of Apprentice fame, announcing that he is officially running for President. If you haven’t heard his official announcement speech, I implore you to watch it. It is a rambling wonderland of bigoted idiocy and I am not entirely sure he isn’t having us on as a public parody of a grade A fuckwit.

America has an incredibly large Hispanic community and that will only grow larger to the point where white people will become the minority. Consider that, then know that he said this: 

When Mexico sends its people, they are not sending the best. They’re sending people who have lots of problems and they’re bringing those problems. They’re bringing drugs, they’re bringing crime. They’re rapists and some, I assume, are good people.

Presidential top trumps

This was genuinely in his presidential announcement speech and then he said that if he won, he would cheaply build a “great great” wall along the border and make Mexico pay for it in order to make them behave.

This man is a gift to people like me and you, and I cannot wait to see what he says and does next because a network has already ironically fired him from the Apprentice show, they have dropped his outdated Miss America pageant and Macys has dropped his line of clothing. I can only assume the look for the range was smug prick. This may be the funniest political campaign in history and I just pray he tries to go the distance.

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