We all know how babies are made, right? Take one boy, one girl, add a romantic night in (or an alcohol fuelled night out) with a little bit of bump and grind and nine months later out pops a baby. It should be so simple, right? So why are one in five couples in the UK struggling to conceive? Is the way we are having sex making matters worse?

Apparently we can have it all these days. The career, the beautiful home and the children but it all takes planning. And you know what they say about best laid plans… So here are 3 ways to help your baby making plans and get things going!

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1. Manage your stress

The pressure we put on ourselves to stick to a baby making schedule can be doing more harm than good. As you get closer to your “baby deadline”, you panic and worry it’s not going to happen or there’s something wrong. This puts your body and your sanity under stress, which in turn sends your body into a “fight or flight” mode. This “fight or flight” mode boosts your adrenalin, makes your heart pump faster and primes your muscles ready to work hard. All the energy for non-urgent tasks like digestion and baby making is diverted. Great for running from lions, not so great for creating a nurturing environment for babies.

Go with the flow, find ways to manage your stress and you will create a much more nurturing environment for baby making activities.

2. Track your menstrual cycle

So your uterus is now an oasis of calm and peace, what next? Do you know when to actually have sex? The female menstrual cycle is a mystery to most, especially as we have become so far detached from what is normal, spending most of our teens and twenties on the pill.

Getting in touch with what’s normal for you, when you are ovulating and when your fertile window is crucial for baby making. If you ain’t doing it at the right time, it doesn’t matter how often you do it, it just isn’t going to happen. For most women the fertile window is 5-6 days before ovulation (around days 9-15 of a 28 day cycle) but it varies a lot!

Track your own menstrual cycle. You can use a thermometer and a technique called basal body temperature to track your ovulation and the health of your cycle. You can even get an app for that. I like a couple called Kindara and Clue, both none girly and very useful.

3. Lighten the mood

Your environment is right, the timing is good but what about the mood? Baby making sex can turn into a chore for both you and your man. Nothing kills sexy time like a scheduled quickie timed to your perfect ovulation window.

There have been studies that show female orgasms improve conception rates. Rather than piling on even more pressure on your man to perform, try experimenting. Talk about fantasies and desires you may never have tried, reignite the passion and sweep each other off your feet.

Bring the loving back to the bedroom and the baby will follow!

Want some more tips to improve your fertility? Download Nicola’s fertility cheat sheet for 5 blocks that may be blocking your chances on conceiving.

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