Attempting to navigate the world of dating can be an exhausting process. Whilst we still have to contend with the age old issue of getting someone to acknowledge our existence in the first place, the leaps and bounds we’ve made in technology have made it possible for us to be ‘dismissed’ and deemed unworthy with a mere swipe of an index finger.
To bag a nice guy is like hitting the jackpot for many women, and although judgement can be impaired in the long search for him, we must keep our guard up. Why? Because there are some men that have a warped sense of what it means to be a nice guy, and they are out there doing far more harm than good.
‘Nice Guy’ Entitlement Syndrome
Pretenders to the title have a habit of popping up when you least expect it, and these self-proclaimed ‘nice guys’ are usually full of shit. You know the type. They’ve been on the dating scene for a while but have had little luck, leading them to believe that they are single because there is something wrong with the female of the species. That’s right folks! The whole of womankind has failed to see what a catch they are, and for this reason, they harbour resentment towards us. There is something very sinister about a man who very openly displays resentment towards women but still expects to be dated, and it shows a level of entitlement that is off the chart.
Shouting the loudest but offering the least
The faux nice guys don’t usually have much to offer in the way of a nurturing relationship, but have decided to label themselves ‘nice guys’ based on material assets that they think means they meet the criteria. In their mind, having a job, a nice car and being able to flash the cash entitles them to a have a woman on their arm, and if for any reason you’re not interested, it is most certainly your loss. They have a special knack for highlighting the flaws in others, and never really assess themselves, so the gaping holes in their personality tend to go unchallenged. But why are they like this? Are they under the impression that because pickings are sometimes slim, women should be damn near grateful for the opportunity to date them? Or are they surrounded by such horrendous excuses for male counterparts that just by comparison they seem like a grand prize?
Who knows. But what is sadly very obvious is the wreckage they leave behind when they get their claws into those who are taken in by their act. If this is the picture they paint of what a nice guy is supposed to be, it’s no wonder some women end up damaged beyond repair.
No labels required
When you meet the real thing, he won’t need to shout from the rooftops about being a nice guy, because his actions will do the talking for him. Of course it’s not just down to what he says or does. It’s also very much about how he makes you feel. When you bag yourself a good’un, there’s nothing wrong with feeling grateful. It’s not the same as the misplaced gratitude that comes with dating someone who is not worthy of you, and the key is knowing the difference.
We’re all old enough to know that Disney is bullshit, and that the perfect Prince Charming isn’t waiting around the corner to come to our rescue. And if we’ve spent any time looking inwards, we’ll know all too well that we’re not perfect ourselves, so can hardly expect any man to live up to that either. But wanting to be valued and feel special really isn’t asking for too much. With the endless hoops we’re all having to jump through, it’s no wonder some may be unintentionally settling for less, just so that they can tap out of the ridiculous dating game. But just like any other, the ‘nice guy’ label can be incorrectly applied, so peeling it back to find out what’s really going on underneath is a must.
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