When you first joined Facebook, having a new friend request was amazing. But now it’s been going for 12 years and suddenly all the school friends, uni friends, blogging friends and randoms from parties who you only added because they like the same music as you, are adding up.

Your timeline is now full of people you don’t really know, posting statuses you don’t really care about. It’s time for a Facebook spring clean. Time for a clear out. Time for some legitimate reasons in place to delete someone from Facebook. A cull, if you will.

Here’s how to figure out who should get the chop.

1. You wouldn’t wish them a “Happy Birthday”

happy birthday

Chances are that every day you’ll get a notification telling you it’s someone’s birthday. Telling someone “Happy Birthday” on Facebook is one of the easiest things you can do. You just write a generic message about having a nice day, or being spoiled by their partner if they have one, a few kisses on the end and boom, your message gets added to the other 50 they’ll get that day and you can feel good about yourself.

If you see a birthday notification and you can’t be bothered to do this for them, press delete. Sounds harsh but it’s actually the best time to do it. They’ll get so many messages that they won’t notice, trust me.

2. They’re a bit of a dick

dont be a dick

The best reason to delete someone is if they’re always being a bit of a dick. These could fall under the following reasons…

  • They post bad views. Like really bad. Sexist, racist… the whole shabang
  • They start fights under other people’s statuses
  • They clearly troll people (I mean, grow up, right?)
  • They correct your grammar (seriously, you aren’t my English teacher, sod off)
  • They just seem a bit of bellend.

3. Too darn smug

smug trump

Of course you want your friends to be happy. You want them to be in good jobs, in a good relationship, going on nice holidays, have beautiful children and be generally happy in life.

But then there are some people who have all that, and who are a little too darn smug about it, telling you every single day how perfect their live is.

From humble bragging (oh my life was so incomplete until my 6 Prada handbags) to just too many pictures telling you how wonderful their life is, you know they’re only doing it to show off. And do they ever like one of your happy statuses or pictures? Do they heck. DELETE DELETE.

4. Two words: Game Notifications


First there was Farmville, then there was Candy Crush, and no doubt there’s another game sweeping Facebook that everyone is hooked on.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with playing these games, but do you really care if your friends is on a certain level? How many times have you helped a friend who needed someone to help them do better in the game? Never? Thought so.

If you know more about their score on Candy Crush then you do about their actual life, it’s time to remove them from your timeline permanently.

5. If you have to be Sherlock to know who they are


We’ve all got those people on Facebook where the only response you have when you see them is “who on earth are you?!”

You dig deeper and realise you’ve got no mutual friends, or the ones you do have you don’t know them that well. Their face is unfamiliar, and if you passed them in the street you would walk by without a second glance.

If you have to be smarter than Benedict Cumberbatch, Richard Arnold or a Chaser, then it’s time to say goodbye to this complete stranger.

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