Familiarity feels safe. We hold onto things that we know, whether they are good for us or not, because stepping into the unknown can be too scary to comprehend. Whether it’s a relationship, a friendship, or even a gift from a former significant other, letting go of what makes sense to us is never easy. But what if we shifted our perspective a little? What if we viewed our lives like pores, best kept unblocked in order for our skin to thrive and be healthy? Could being sentimental and overly nostalgic be blocking better opportunities from coming into our lives?
Maintaining friendships, like any relationship takes some work. But it should not be hard, or feel forced. Oftentimes, we have people in our lives because of the connection they have to a significant time in our past. What we have in common with them is frozen in a particular point in time, and being around them is like being transported back there. Sometimes these trips down memory lane are joyful, but they can also be very painful. As much as they may hurt us, they are what we know, and we gain an odd sense of comfort from that familiar feeling. But at what cost? Continuing to use energy in this way is incredibly draining, and it means the energy cannot be used to nurture relationships that help us to grow and move forward. If all you have in common with someone is a difficult past, finding a way to break those ties will be the best thing for you.
Our work lives
Even when we don’t enjoy our jobs, we spend lots of time talking about moving on before we actually do, for many reasons.. The term ‘better the devil you know’ exists for a reason, and sticking out a horrible situation isn’t so bad when you can bond with colleagues about how awful it is – you’re all in it together. It’s easy to grow attached to people that can relate to your struggle, but why should that attachment keep you in a place that makes you unhappy? Getting out does not have to mean cutting ties. Make the move and be an inspiration to your colleagues to do the same. .
Do you still have that teddy your ex gave you? Still holding onto the messages he wrote to you when ‘things were good’? If so, you’re not alone in torturing yourself, so many of us do it. Having gifts that represent happy times make perfect sense. But if there was a sour end to the story, that factor will never be far from your mind either. Do yourself and your emotional well-being a favour by deleting the messages and getting rid of those gifts. If you can, find a charity shop that can sell them on to someone who can create new memories with them.
Ways of thinking
Being told to ‘keep an open mind’ can be grating, because the suggestion that one’s mind is somehow ‘closed’ sounds like an insult. But have you ever wondered why you do the things you do, the way you do them? The answer to that question is often “because it has always been done this way”. It may not even be the best way, but it’s the familiar way. It’s not easy to break habits, but every now and again it’s good to seek out fresh approaches. Why? Because you never know what you could be missing. It’s not about being flaky or indecisive. It’s about being open to new ways of thinking and not being afraid of a challenge.
Nobody is disputing that change is scary. Not knowing what to expect when stepping into new territory, and away from what we hold dear will never be easy. But getting past the fear to see what possibilities are awaiting is more than worth the risk. Of course we cannot be robots, but we cannot allow the sentimental value that we place on things to weigh us down either.Free yourself, unclog, and let the results speak for themselves
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