Everyone says stupid stuff they immediately regret. The sort of stuff that either instantly silences rooms, annoys everyone, upsets everyone or just makes you sound like a right prat. But while you may remember it in horror for the rest of your life, the people who heard it are guaranteed to forget about it within minutes.
But now Facebook lets you look back on the stupid stuff you said over the years, on the exact day you said it, so you can celebrate the anniversary of being a total tool. Ok, it’s also meant to show you happy memories, but for me it’s mainly a constant reminder of how ridiculous and annoying I was when I first joined Facebook all those years ago (and to some extent, today).
So, for your entertainment, here are my most embarrassing Facebook statuses and what I’ve learnt from them.
People who Say I’m Obsessed With Mcfly Are Right
To this day I will openly admit my love of Mcfly. But there’s fandom, and then there’s repeating basically the same status within hours of each other. Nine years ago I REALLY wanted people to know how bad my music taste was and how gutted I was to miss what was probably a two minute appearance. I’m cringing at this person.
My Friends Are Different and Amazing
I certainly have a diverse group of friends. Some mock my taste in music, others think I have the best music taste ever (granted those people are in the minority), but what I love is they all accept me for it…granted while taking the piss out of me at the same time. I still stand by the fact High School Musical 3 is amazing though.
Boys Mattered Far Too Much
There were far too many statuses about finding a boyfriend back in 2007, but this one sums it up. Even when I was studying I couldn’t focus on books when there were boys to be studied instead.
Also, the library is the WORST place to meet boys. You can’t have a long conversation as it’s meant to be a quiet area and unless you have some book related banter up your sleeve, which I certainly did not, talking to a random boy in the library is just a little bit creepy. Thank god for Tinder.
Me Being Passive Aggressive Is Hilarious
So so many of my old statuses are about being betrayed, being annoyed by unknown people and generally being passive aggressive. It’s not meant to be funny, but it is. Really funny.
Ultimately this was just me begging for attention, and obviously it didn’t get a single like or comment. I would have unfriended me.
I’m Far Too Easily Pleased
Nobody should be so happy and excited about meeting someone from Neighbours and watching them sing cheesy pop covers that they post it on their Facebook. And by cheesy i mean really cheesy…he sang the theme tune to Neighbours as his opening song. Even the exclamation mark at the end seems a little too far. It wasn’t even that good and the photo of me and Stingray is so bad I’ve never let anyone see it.
I Have No Facebook Filter
Why, why on earth did I post something like this? I surely must have added said person on Facebook if we got on so well. I’m sure they’d LOVE knowing they give off the appearance of being a bit of a knob. This is how people get fired at work, or certainly end up with some sort of HR meeting. Idiot.
I Can Be Pretty Smart
I don’t think anything else needs to be said. I almost went to see Kayne West. Then didn’t. I win life.
I Was Ridiculous At Uni
I’ve always been kind of aware that I was a bit of a nightmare at university, mainly because a lot of my close uni friends have told me so. This status just sums the old me up so well. I guarantee I wasn’t invited to any parties.
I’ve Always Been Too Hard on Myself
I started off this article laughing about old posts and how ridiculous I was all those years ago. But the more I investigated into my posting past, the sadder I ultimately became. So many statuses were negative and attacking myself as a person. I would be lying if I said I don’t feel that way now, but I’d never post it openly online. The old me was far more openly emotional and honest with people.
Looks like I have more to learn from my past Facebook statuses than I ever realised…
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