Single girls: rest assured that, if it hasn’t happened to you already, it’s a-coming. And it’s always the same old story.
Girl meets boy. They go on a date. It’s perfect – chemistry is rocketing, conversation is on fire, the kisses are better than When Harry Met Sally. There’ll be a second date. Third. Fourth. Then he starts to act a little off.
Communication fades out and he’s not saying the lovely things that he was before. Having convinced yourself you’re just being paranoid (and that your paranoia is ALWAYS the problem), you push on, trying to cling on to the gorgeous butterflies that you’ve been feeling when he texts you or touches your arm.
A week goes by; no texts. There’s no answer when you call. There’s no answer when you call again six hours later. There’s no answer when you’re stumbling home drunk after going on a revenge date with someone you’re not interested in and boom – you’re really sad that it’s gone down the pan.
I know you really liked him, and I know that despite being only a few dates into the relationship it really hurts. I know you don’t want someone to sit and tell you “he’s just not that into you” either, because that feels equally awful and you just don’t want to hear it. But look here lady, there’s a few things you need to bear in mind.
1. Men do this
No it’s not fair, and no it’s not right. But if lots of boys weren’t such fickle creatures, dating would pretty much be eliminated anyway. We’d all settle down immediately because the Stupid Barrier wouldn’t be there, it’d take longer to uncover deeper traits. And you’d be in a far more shit situation than you are now because he’d have been a bigger part of your life.
2. You’ve probably done it too
If you’re a returning visitor to the dating scene, dig deep. Think about when you met guys in the past. You know the one. Proper lovely, you hope nothing but good things happen to him, but for whatever reason you didn’t text back that time. Then you left it that way, because you got cowardly about breaking it off in person.
Sometimes people are bastards, but sometimes they are also not. Don’t let yourself be plagued by visions of him meeting someone else or laughing at you behind your back. More than likely, he’s too busy for that shit anyway, and he feels as positive towards you as you did about that person you stopped texting before. You just never know what’s going on in someone’s life or mind.
3. You’re way too good for this
Seriously, you are. Rise above it and be the strong, beautiful, intelligent woman you know you are.
4. It’s happened before… And you’re fine.
Remember that other guy you’d daydream about? The previous squeeze you couldn’t believe could be so awesome? The other one with that sexy accent? The one that promised you the world, misled you completely then let you down?
I’ll bet it wasn’t all pleasant when it went tits up that time either. But look. It happened again and again. This certainly wasn’t the last fella that you’re gonna find that you’re attracted to in so many different ways for so many different reasons. There’s another just around the corner when you’re ready to find him.
5. The future works in strange ways
You never know when you might cross paths again. People from the past pop up all over the place, often for something significant.
I’ve taken great pleasure in planning what I’d say if he ever decided to call for any reason or if I bumped into him in the street… And he won’t get off easy. He’s done something shit after all. Plan that in your head, then leave it be for when life serves you a curve ball. They’re as fun as you make them.
If all else fails… Unless you literally pass him every day or have mutual friends, anything could’ve happened. He could’ve been run over by a bus for all you know. Not that we’d wish that on the time-wasting bastard though. Probably.
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